Re-Blog of One Year Ago

Here is a post I wrote in February 2012. I am reblogging it to give some context to my last post. I expressed all this to him at the time and in the months following. Yes, I should have left him then, but I thought if I just tried harder and my back got better we could be okay. Live and learn, right? This is a really good reflection of a lot of the issues eroding our relationship and my self confidence, but sadly not nearly all of them.
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The Green Eyed Crazy Girl

I have had some unwelcome company lately, someone I did’t even know was well aquainted with me until they were practically living inside me. You see, when we get together, all hell breaks loose, so I try to stay away. My vivd and overactive imagination kicks it into overdrive and the crazy girl aspect of my personality I hide so well suddenly makes her presence known. Who is my visitor? – No, not my monthly visitor, although she wreaks her own havoc. My current visitor is worse! – I’ll give you a hint, she is green, oh-so-green. Still guessing? Didn’t think so, I knew my readers were smart.
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Chronic Pain is Part of My Life

Accepting that chronic pain is part of my life now and for the foreseeable future is something that took an aweful lot of inner strife. You see, for five years I  have been battling to maintain some semblance of a  normal life, I refused to see myself as broken and believed if I just kept trying at some point everything would work out. Attending the chronic pain program made it so I couldn’t ignore the reality of my situation any longer.
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