Chronic Pain is Part of My Life

Accepting that chronic pain is part of my life now and for the foreseeable future is something that took an aweful lot of inner strife. You see, for five years I  have been battling to maintain some semblance of a  normal life, I refused to see myself as broken and believed if I just kept trying at some point everything would work out. Attending the chronic pain program made it so I couldn’t ignore the reality of my situation any longer.
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Chronic Pain is Just a Part of My Life

Self-worth, stamina, normalcy, parenting, fitness, finances, independence…

I sit in the the tiny classroom staring through tears at the white board with the words ‘What Has Chronic Pain Taken From You?’ written in black at the top. Green, red and blue words commingle in a kaleidescope of broken dreams, filling the board and causing my head to ache.
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When September Comes…

madatmeSo I seem to have taken a short respite from my thirty day challenge. Who saw this coming? I did! I am not giving up, really. I will persevere and I will feel accomplishment when I finish.  In the meantime, leave your link ups on the Thirty Day Challenge page and I will be sure to add them as I get my posts up. Hopefully none of you are disappointed with me. Please don’t be, it will be a massive accomplishment for me if I complete all thirty entries at all and I am still aiming for one a day. Continue reading

Body & Soul Renewal – Day One

Write a quick bio about yourself and include five interesting facts about you.


I am a 26-year-old woman who lives in Canada. Hm. What to say?

I work as a manager of a pharmacy but have been off work intermittently for over two years. I severely hurt my back in February 2010 and subsequently needed a two level spinal fusion in March 2011. While the surgery was a success in that it relieved some of the pressure on my nerves, I have recently had a re-emergence of the nerve pain and am looking at more surgery in August of 2012. Continue reading

Thirty Day Blog Challenge

Have you been thinking that you might need a little push to move in a good direction? Have you ever wanted to blog daily but feel like you don’t have enough content to share?

This may help you, and having support on this journey from others joining the challenge will be immensely motivating.

I have been looking for a thirty day blog challenge that really speaks to me and the different dimensions of what I want to accomplish and I haven’t found one that encompasses all I want to cover in thirty days so I have decided to write my own. I want to be able to define my values and direction at the end of this project and I think I have a pretty good set of questions to make that possible. Continue reading

I’ve Been Published! Sorta.

Those of you who followed at my other blog know that I like to take photos. I am fortunate that my boyfriends dad is a photographer and has been for decades so we have access to great photography equipment. He gave us an amazing little camera that he used for his personal use as it is a good camera but not as cumbersome as needing different lenses, flashes ect. and weighing twenty pounds like his other more expensive ones are. Don’t ask me the specs as I don’t know, but it takes really clear pictures in any condition. We also have his old professional camera that is just ridiculous and three lenses, but I prefer the simplicity of the point and shoot.

Anyway, by no means have I ever een delusional enough to believe I am actually a photographer but I did get one of my photos published on another website. Granted, anyone who submits gets published but I still feel a bit of pride at having someone else enjoy my photo. Continue reading

Taking Time To Find Myself is Okay

I have discussed how I have pulled away from social events and friends and I am starting to realize that maybe it happened more because I felt the need to strengthen and get to know me inside for what I really want and value, without having others opinions and negative emotions sway me. I didn’t and still don’t want to feel shame about the way I live, my depression, my injury or my life in general. That is not to say good advice, or any advice period, isn’t appreciated, it truly is. I appreciate each an every comment and send my thanks to each and every reader, even if this is your first read! Back on topic…

I need to work on myself. As much as I am there for anyone who needs it, I don’t reach out much. I just feel like I have so much to work on that I overwhelm myself. And I tend to over commit… Continue reading

The Never-Ending Back Story

I thought I would finally try to put into words what happened with my surgeon, Dr. W., last week. Just as some background, I had a two level spinal fusion in March 2011. Immediately after the surgery it was considered a success because I could feel the nerve pathways that had been dead for several months, but I haven’t made much progress since. When you have a spinal fusion, at least in my case, , there are different ways to do it, they take out discs from between your vertebrae, fuse bone into the space left behind and set the spacing by putting three screws in each vertebrae and attaching them with titanium rods. Then you have to wait over a year to see if the fusion takes and if you grow bone to fill the spaces. Continue reading

The Worst Person to Lie to is Y-O-U!

I have felt so out of touch with myself lately. I know I have written many posts on how I feel and I am sure for some of you it has become redundant, especially because, even to myself, it seems like I haven’t done enough serious work on my self to warrant complaining about my situation. I feel like I am whining because most of my problems are things that I can change if I could just find the motivation to start.

I don’t know what is making me cling to this idea that I don’t know what to do to make myself better. It is just not true. I have read book after book after book about different methods of beating depression and they have covered a wide range of treatment methods. Continue reading