First Crush – NaBloPoMo Day 2

Monday, February 04, 2013

  • Tell us about your first crush.

My first crush was a boy I met when I moved to a small town I stayed in for ten years from the fourth grade until I graduated high school. BlueEyes eyewas the boy that sat across from me in my fourth grade class. Beyond his obvious blue eyes he had black hair and pale clear skin. And his eyes… They were ice blue.


Interesting fact? I have only dated one man without blue eyes, C. and I’ve dated plenty of men…

Back to Mr. Blue Eyes. He was confident and funny, not the most popular perse, but still well liked. I wasn’t popular at all, so really I’m not sure why I added that.

I don’t remember much other than covering numerous diaries in hearts and initials and spending and embarrassing amount of time thinking of conversations in my head. Actually, I did ask him out.

Around the eighth grade we went to a movie, where we didn’t touch or say a word. And that was that. He has never been attracted to me, I don’t think. Nonetheless, he was a great guy to have a first crush one, I mean how many guys that are 13 will take a girl to the movies because she has had a crush on him forever with no interest on his part? If nothing else, BlueEyes has always been the sort of man you want to bring home, and I guess I have been looking for one of those ever since.

Part of me wants a traditional, but modern, guy who wants to make more money than me, and wants to make dinner for me. I still want a man with chivalristic qualities and respect for what I have to offer as a woman. I am still searching for that man that makes my stomach do flip flops and wants to make me happy as much as I want to make him happy. But I want it to be organic too, I want us to do it naturally without a huge power struggle or ego or resentments or bitching.

I want a man to want me. I want him to want to sleep beside me, but also to sleep with me. Often. I want to be able to be a librarian and a slut and have that be okay. I want to be myself and feel better being myself because of them.

It sounds like a selfish list, but it is also a list of what I want to be for my partner. I want to be ferociously attracted to him, I want to want to make him smile, make his day a little better and give him what he needs. I want to be a partner where he treats me like a princess, but I treat him like my prince.

Damn Disney! You’ve ruined me for real life love!

What was your first crush like? Do you think it added to your view of love as a fairytale of sorts, or have you always been grounded in reality?

Up Next: How old were you when you first fell in love?

As always, thanks for spending a few minutes with me!
– S.



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