Saying ‘I Love You’ – NaBloPoMo Day 1

Friday, February 1, 2013I love you

  • When was the last time you said, "I love you."?

The last time I said ‘I love you’ was yesterday afternoon. I thought a lot about how to answer this question and I think there is more to it than when the last time I said it was. I mean, when was the last time I meant ‘I am in love with you’ is not necessarily the last time I said ‘I love you’. And on the other hand, I think I love you more often than I say it.

C. and I are still affectionate – we say I love you regularly – and while I do love knowing his feelings, it feels like ‘I love you’ may have gotten a bit tarnished over our five plus years. Is there such thing as saying I love you too much? In this vein, I am really not sure I can pinpoint the last time I said ‘I love you’ and really meant ‘I’m in love with you’.

Recently I had a rather intense encounter with lust. I’m not comfortable talking about it publicly yet, but it has certainly made me reflect on some things that have been happening in my relationship with C. I’m sure I will find the courage to write all about it soon but for now if you are overly curious contact me privately and I would be happy to share.

What brought this out the reference to my recent encounter was thinking about the first time you say ‘I love you’ to someone. There is so much intense emotion leading up to that first declaration of love and interestingly for me it is usually preceded by an amazing period of animal like lust. I have never questioned my feelings at the end of a relationship, but I question how much I am wearing sex goggles for the first year and how much I really am in love with them. There is no doubt in my mind I love quickly, I care about people before I know it. But does that really mean I fall in love quickly?

 

And then there are those lost moments where you want nothing more than to express the emotions welling inside you but you stay quiet because your emotions can’t be what they are, it doesn’t help but hinder. I had one of those recently. It was one of those times where everything felt so damned right, but my head said everything was so damned wrong.

 

Why are your heart and head so often at odds? Who wins out for you?

When was the last time you said ‘I love you’ and meant ‘I’m in love with you’?

 

Up Next: Tell us about your first crush.

As always, thanks for spending a few moments with me!
-S.

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3 thoughts on “Saying ‘I Love You’ – NaBloPoMo Day 1

  1. benzeknees says:

    Can’t say when the last time I said I love you & meant I’m in love with you. Hubby & I are going through a rough patch right now because we’re both unemployed at the same time & he’s driving me nuts! He’s interfering with my creative processes & I am having a horrible time trying to write ANYTHING. I probably still love him, but I’m so annoyed with him right now I want to throttle him more than hug him or have any other kind of loving exchange.

    • S. says:

      Hi Benzeknees,
      I am sorry to hear that – and can sympathize! C. was unemployed for no good reason the first two years I was injured. We lived off my benefits.
      I think one of my biggest issues with letting go is that I love the other person so much it’s just not the right type.
      I’m starting to believe more and more that everyone has the right to be in love with their significant other at least some of the time. The promise of it happening has to be alive. Both of us deserve ‘that type’ of love.
      xo – S.

      • benzeknees says:

        My love for him comes & goes. Right now it’s gone! He’s around too, too, too much! He’s so getting on my nerves. He wants to talk or nag at me when I want quiet time to write – I haven’t written anything at all this week.

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