Oh, Glorious Day! I Have Been Award-s-ed!

I was delighted to log into WordPress one day about two weeks ago to find a lovely comment from JourneyBits with an unexpected surprise and honour. DUH-DA-DA-DA-TA-DA!! Someone (else) finds my writing worthwhile enough to nominate me for an award! I am not sure how much this says about me as a blogger since at the time JourneyBits only followed a handful of bloggers, and she nominated everyone she follows. Nonetheless I will take the nomination as a compliment and feel privileged to have someone think I am worthy of an award! Again, I am completely aware that this award is not as prestigious as an Oprah sticker on my first novel! (Although that will happen someday!) It feels good to recognize and experience gratitude for the little things that go right in everyday and having one person like my blog enough for an award does it for me! Anyway, here are the rules for the first award: 1) Thank the person who gave you this award.
– Already done, but thank you again!

2) Include a link to their blog.
– Click on the picture above to go to JourneyBits blog.

3) Nominate 15 bloggers who cover an array of topics for the Versatile Blogger Award.
 – This was harder than I thought… But nonetheless, here I go!

 1. Magik Life – A wonderful author, photographer and person. I am so blessed to have met this wonderful woman.

2. TitaniumBabe – An awesome lady that has given me wells of strength.

3. Mary and Bob’s Journal – This is one of the first blogs I ever followed and I love her writing.

4. Inside the life of S – I swear I was channelling Simmog when I created this blog. I really admire her as a person and author.

5. Coffee and Cigarettes with a Bit o’ Whiskey – I love Skeletoes blog! She has an amazing point of view and is fearless in her knowledge of herself.

6. Back On My Own – This woman is wonderful. I sincerely admire her strength, resolve and ability to overcome hardships. Her words are touching because she is so honest.

7. Julianna’s Daydream – A fellow knitter I wanted to give a shout out to!

8. chronicpainandme – A great blog by a great guy who is dealing with chronic hip pain. We really connected as we are both striving to find a normal life that fits within our respective issues.

9. tms therapy and beyond – D.’s account of her treatment with tms therapy and the amazingly brave step she took to take control of her depression. She is quite an inspiration to me.

10. catterel – She always has the most amazing stories.

11. snarkysnatch – Fair warning, this blog contains mature posts and graphic language about sex. I love her blog, it is naughtiness deliciousness.

12. Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights – A wonderful blog filled with posts I love.

13. athingirldotcom – A wise and knowledgeable woman with great story telling skills who lives in New York. How I long to have any of those identifiers applied to me!

14. In My Opinion… – This is a really interesting blogging concept. She posts one post everyday for 200 (?) days with each one focusing on a different question. She is intelligent and articulate.

15.  Blessed With a Star on the Forehead – A wonderful blog meandering it’s way through the author thoughts and feelings.

4) Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

 – Hmm… Let’s see….

1. I am five feet tall with brown hair and green eyes.

2. I have two cats, Paddington who is a manx and has a bob tail and rabbit feet, and Troffus who is a 24lb black cat with a white bowtie and belly.

3. I love rollerblading but I haven’t in two years because of the back surgery thing.

4. I taught myself to knit over a year ago and I also taught myself to spin.

5. My favourite colours are green and red as long as they aren’t together. Unless it’s Christmas.

6. I have a college diploma and am three credits short of a double B.A.

7. I read too much. I can read three or four books a week if I let myself.

Whew! That was a task! Now go check out some of those blogs!! But don’t forget to come back to read about my second batch of nominees! By the way, if you already have this award please feel free to take one of the others instead! The Versatile Blogger Award, the Sunshine Award, 7×7 award, the Inspirational Blogger award and the Beautiful Blogger award apply to each and every one of you!! xo

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A couple of days ago when I was feeling rather insignificant due to very low stats and very few followers (Although I do love the ones I have!!!!) I got a little boost from an unexpected source. I was delighted to realize that another blogger I have been following for about a month, Blessed With a Star on the Forehead, has nominated me for a Sunshine Award. (Although I am not sure that ‘Sunshine’ really applies to my blog. Maybe the ‘Rainy Day Award’ would be more suitable for my depressing thoughts! )It made me want to dance like the dancer in the photo on the right an below, but I suppose I should give up on my hopes of become an amazing dancer, you know… With the titanium in my spine and all… Seriously though, what surprised me is that I was unaware she had started following me, let alone enjoyed what she was reading! There is something about knowing I have followers who enjoy what I post that is validating and it also gives me a sense of purpose. If even one person reads and appreciates my blog than it is not as much of a waste of time as it seems. I know that I blog for myself and not to capture thousands of followers, I don’t cater my words to a specific audience rather I write what comes. But like I said, it is somewhat validating when other bloggers recognize your blog as one worth reading. It makes my day when I see I have a new follower, or one of the existing ones takes time to comment. Really, my life is that boring and I am so touched by your comments.. I don’t pretend to be an amazing author, nor do I believe that I have a particularly engrossing way of writing, but I enjoy stringing together words to form a sentence in the same way you string pearls for a necklace. In the end, someone may have more use for the pearl necklace than my sentences, but for me the ability to write and express myself is infinitely more valuable.

It brings to mind a haiku from American author Hanna Kollef:

Words drip like diamonds from your lips; but I love the frogs and maggots too.

On to accepting this award and following the directions as I see fit! After all instructions are only suggestions of one way something can be done.

Rules to Accept the Award:

1) Include the award logo in a post or somewhere on your blog.
– Done!

2) Answer 10 questions about yourself.
1. What is a favourite childhood memory? – My dad was in the Air Force so we moved around a lot. Every second summer or so we would pack up the house and car and drive to meet the truck carrying all we owned to a different part of the country. The summers in between moving we always my favourite. During those long ago summer days when we vacationed, not to get to the next place we would live but rather, we went on family road trips of epic proportions. 

     One year we drove through the Rockies and I remember being so high up in the mountains we were practically in the clouds, unable to see flat land anywhere (at least I couldn’t, being six or seven and barely able to see out the car window. This was in the days before you sat in a car seat until you were twelve. I was relishing the fact that I had grown out of my booster seat the previous year and it was my first time riding ‘like a big kid’ on vacation) , with jagged snow capped peeks jutting up all around us and the road disappearing around the next bend it was like we were flying. I remember an awesome sense of freedom overwhelming me. To me we were the only family brave enough to trek through mountains on these crazy roads that were barely the width of the car. I don’t think I understood the inherent bleak beauty of the mountains at the time, I felt something I had no words to describe. In hindsight, however, I believe this was my first brush with awe-struck wonder.

2. What is a real fear you have? – Whoa. Tough question… One fear I have is that I will let my life pass me by without really living it. With every day that passes I feel older and, especially since the injury, more tired. I keep trying to find my authentic self only to be thrown back into a well of depression, anxiety and hopelessness.    

 I am often paralysed by fear from making big or important decisions, at other times I cannot seem to know my own mind well enough to choose what is best for me or what I want. I fear that my indecisiveness will drive away any chance I have at happiness.      I am also so afraid of remaining right here, never moving forward, never growing and not healing. I am held prisoner by my pain and the necessity to remain close to my surgeon and doctors. I am captive in my own body. I’m not saying this won’t change, but at this moment I feel like I am super glued in limbo-land.

3. How would you describe yourself? – In one word, right now? Depressed. But that is just a part of me, I am also kind, caring and honest. I empathize often, love quickly and deeply and I can’t intentionally hurt anyone. I’m reflective and quick to anger, but I am also quick to soothe and free-spirited.

Like most people, I am a collection of opposites and values, I contradict myself as often as I agree but there are very few things I am adamant about. I can’t quite define these things for myself yet but I know that when someone crosses those undefined lines I am like a momma bear with her cubs… Ferocious. I tend to do things without reservations, passionately; with thought and emotion motivating me in equal measures. I wish all these contradictions added up to a well balanced person, instead it feels like I swing from one extreme to the other with no middle ground. I’ve lost a lot of self confidence over the last couple of years but I know it is still there.

I guess in one sentence I would describe myself as: A woman who is oh-so-lost but still fighting to find the right path in any direction that leads forwards towards the light and away from the bleak darkness nipping at her heels.

4. What states have you lived in? – None, I live North of the border! However, in the spirit of this question I have lived in ten different dwellings, with ten different addresses, since my birth.

5. What is your style? – Gym-bound? Haha, I go to physio three days a week and wear a uniform at work so I don’t have much use for clothes that don’t stretch or move when I work out. When I gained half my body weight in two weeks last September all my cute and pretty extra-small clothing became too small for me. On the positive side, the weight gain gave me breasts for the first time in my life! Or maybe I am just getting more comfortable with my assets. (Of which I consider one to be my sag free rack.) Gosh! How did I get to talking about my boobs? Right, the weight gain… I am 5’0” tall so going from 110lbs up to 165lbs at my heaviest was a real shock to my system. Even working out became so much harder. I have lost fifteen pounds but still have a ways to go before I feel comfortable in my skin again. I guess it is just shocking to not recognize your body. I have bumps where there used to be curves, and a scar where once there was a toned and sexy back. But I digress. This is about my style.

Really, I don’t have any style. OOH! Idea!! I should make a poll that would allow my readers to choose the way my style heads. I am always so worried and hesitant to buy new clothes because I tend to have a constant litany of thinly-veiled insults directed at myself. The worst, at least for me, is to hear others and my own mind say discouraging things like, “No that won’t work.” It is a fact that I am five feet tall and things that look good in catalogues rarely look good on me. I am not a petite little slip of  a thing either. I have thighs, and a butt. In fact my sister used to make fun of it by calling it a ‘Troll” butt. (Remember those crazy haired, belly button gemmed little toys?)

Anyway, if any one has any style tips feel free to share!! I want to look like an adult, I am 27 this summer, not the verging on twenty-or-two-hundred w-still-a-teenager look I rock now.

6. What is your favourite breakfast food? – Well… I love bacon, eggs over-easy and toast! But I also really like bagels with cream cheese and bacon and egg breakfast sandwiches. Ooh! I eat cereal anytime so I don’t consider that a breakfast food. (I know, weird.) Wait! I forgot about fresh croissants with berries and cream fresh from the bakery! Yum! Oh, don’t forget the tea, preferably something strong in the morning like assam or my favourite anytime tea, Lady Grey. I used to drink coffee all day, but I find tea more enjoyable and more agreeable with my digestion.

7. What are some of your hobbies? – I have been injured with a back issue requiring major surgery (see the back surgery page for more) for over two years so a lot of my old hobbies are off limits at this point and perhaps forever. Because most of my hobbies pre-injury are just too active, I have actively searched out and found some new hobbies. I taught myself to knit and am pretty darn happy with the degree of skill I have developed in a relatively short time. Oh, as much as I like knitting, spinning took my heart and ran with it! I was gifted an Ashford Traditional spinning wheel a few months after my injury and I fell in love with it. There is something meditative about spinning fibre into yarn. It requires all your attention and such a steady hand and rhythm that it is not surprising I find it so engrossing. I have also done a bit of crocheting, but I am not nearly as good with a hook as I am with two needles.

Recently I have been learning to bind books so I can make completely handmade journals for myself and as gifts. It is a time consuming process but it is so cool when you look at a book and can say, “I made that.” I am thinking of trying to sell some. They really are gorgeous and I can personalize them by customizing the size, colour, type of paper inside, graphic on the front, add a closure or pen holder, book mark or pockets or section dividers, or any other aesthetic and functional changes desired.

What do you all think? Would you buy a handmade journal in your choice of style for $25-30 depending on the customizations desired?? I want you honest opinion if you are willing to give it. And I appreciate any and all feedback received, be it positive or negative. I have also briefly contemplated knitting some items for sale  but it has always intimidated me because it takes hours and hours to knit an article of clothing and it is really hard to make it worth my while and economical for the person who wants the item. Again, any feedback would be absolutely welcomed. (On that note, I have read every single one of your comments and you will all get replies shortly. –xo)

8. If you could tell people anything…what would be the most important thing to say? – Exactly how you feel with as much compassion and honesty as the situation affords. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t think anyone could be defined by one thing they said.

9. What is one of your “passions”? – Passions…. Besides the obvious passion in the bedroom? I am passionate about the renewal and new growth that happens every spring. I am passionate about the rights of people, but especially children. I am passionate about learning, but most of all I am passionate about wanting a place in life where I belong and where I am wanted, loved, admired and respected. I am really just a passionate person in general! Or I want to be.

10. What is one truth that you have learned? – That you cannot change anyone’s mind who isn’t open to new ideas, nor can you change someone’s heart if it is not with you. People change for themselves, all other change, especially change in response to criticisms you don’t agree with, is like putting on a mask to hide behind.

3) Nominate 10 to 12 other fabulous bloggers.

*** I am not going to include descriptions in this part, mostly because I am tired and have been working on this post for days!! Suffice to say, each of these bloggers have found a place in my heart and I cherish every post.***

And the winners are….

1. Life and Other Misadventures

2. I’ve Survived! and I’m “Flying”!!

3. Sappy Chick’s Ramblings

4. Laughing cow in France

5. Alice through the Macro Lens

6. Another beautiful day in chaos…

7. storyofalice – Adult themes.

8. LifeYum

9. Broken Light: A Photography Collective

10. SummerSolsticeGirl

11. Do You See How I See

A late but well deserved addition:

12. Knitters Rumble!

4) Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

– Done! Click on either the award badge, her name above or her initials below. Once again, thank you so much, BWASOTF!!

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Finally, I was surprised this morning by Magik Life who has nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger award! I am so thrilled and humbled by her kind words on my writing and myself. Go check out her blog, you will find interesting photos along with interesting words.

Here are the rules for this award:

1) Thank and Link-back to your nominator.

– Done! Click on the image above or her name to visit Magik Life’s blog.

2) Nominate 7, 6, or fewer (or more) other blogs that you enjoy to receive this award as well.

I award this award to each and every one of the 25 blogs above. You are all beautiful! xoxo

3) Post a comment on your nominees blogs with a link to your page for the details.

– Will do right after publishing this post!

4) Paste the Award image somewhere on your blog, if so desired. – You will find the image in my right hand menu!

5) And, continue blogging all your beautiful thoughts, suggestions, and musings. More readers are coming!

– Will do and YAY!!!

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Finally, chronicpainandme has nominated me for four separate awards! The Sunshine and Beautiful Blogger awards you see above and a 7×7 Link Award and an Inspirational Blogger award. I am so blessed to be nominated for these awards by a wonderful person like Chris.  I am so happy I found his blog and that he finds my words worthy enough to follow. Once again, I nominate all 25 of the blogs listed above for both the 7×7 Link Award and the Inspirational Blogger award.

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Once again, my sincere thanks goes out to JourneyBits, Blessed With a Star On the Forehead, Magik Life and chronicpainandme.

I really hope each and everyone of my followers are having a great weekend!! Best, xo – S.