Change… Every change you make for the better is a step away from here towards where you want to be.
So why is it so hard to just accept? I don’t actively fight against change, but I also don’t fight for changes I know need to be made. Like so many other things I am fairly ambivalent when it comes to changing. That, in a nutshell, is why today’s question reads “Discuss what is holding you back from embracing change,” instead of, “Discuss why you fight change,” or, “Discuss why change scares you.”
No, this question is not about how I am scared of the changes the future will bring, especially in regards to my back, nor is it about fighting the coming changes. It is about why I find it so hard to actively embrace the idea of change. Theoretically, no change is permanent as the very definition of change is to have something be different. If you don’t like the change that has been made, change again. But for some reason whenever I think of something I could do to change, or someone makes a suggestion, I, almost automatically discount it as a valid option for me.
“Sure, that might work for others, but it won’t work for me.”
This phrase needs to be banned from my mind and speech. Along with, “Yeah, but…”
I don’t know why I think that I am so different from others. I don’t know why I am convinced my motivation and ability to make changes is inferior to everyone else’. I don’t know why I have this idea that something that works perfectly well for others can’t possible work for me. It is self-defeating and quite untrue.
So why don’t I embrace change? I am so unhappy where I am right now, yet I don’t embrace that which will help me… Change. I need change in my life right now. I need to see that I can change, my life can change and my situation can change. I am not afraid of these changes, in fact it is quite the opposite, I am excited to change into someone I love. But I still don’t embrace it. I still don’t foster conditions conductive to positive change.
Maybe part of the problem is I don’t know what I want to change. I have general ideas and vague notions that I need to be a healthier, more loving person, but I don’t have any concrete direction to travel. This is something I have struggled with again and again.
Maybe I don’t embrace change because I don’t have faith in the direction I am going in. Maybe I don’t embrace change because I can’t define specifically what needs to change. Maybe I need to revisit this topic after I have written more of my Thirty Day Challenge – Body & Soul Renewal.
The biggest maybe of all? Maybe I need to let go of if I change or not and be satisfied with growth. After all, it is not change I crave… I would hate it if things changed for the worse. But I am always open to growing.
The next 27 days? They will be less about change and more about growth.
Sorry, dear readers. There is no resolution here today… Hopefully by the end of my thirty days I will come back and add an edit depicting either my success or failure in achieving any sort of change. Here’s hoping it is growth!
xo – S.Yay! Published with 16 minutes to spare! I will try to complete these earlier, but I am really writing them all day… Always changing and adding when I say all I am going to do is add a photo… That may be why this post seems to meander out into the ether and back again.