Insomnia, My Companion If Not My Friend

It is six in the morning. I am not a morning person, something I discovered long ago when my sister had to turn on the lights and rip off my blankets to get me up for school in the morning. So what am I doing up? Well… It has been one of ‘those nights’.g I went to bed around eleven last night so tired and worn out from a day of work, yet not only could I not fall asleep my legs were doing this funky thing where they almost started to ache if I kept them still. So… I didn’t fall asleep until after one and was up at two thirty and three thirty, and then I slept for three hours (Hurray!) and now here I am bleary eyed with a hint of a headache that will probably surface at some point today. Bah! Okay, okay that was totally a rant.

I don’t think there is any ordinary* problem that is more annoying than insomnia. It is something that perpetuates the misery too. Not only am I overly tired in the daytime, I usually take a nap if at all possible because my eyes won’t stay open and this, in turn, makes is harder to fall asleep at night not to mention the spike in pain I experience when I am tired. It is a cycle I thought I had finally kicked about three months ago. Until the last few weeks I have been able to get a solid six-hour block of sleep at night with no sleep meds. I know that is not enough still but it has been a two-year struggle to get me to sleep for more than three hours even with medications of all sorts, so I see six hours as good progress. But about a month ago I started getting up in the night ever couple of hours stiff and in pain.

I have chronic pain. I know what has caused this pain and I am doing everything humanly possible to cure it, both from the medical perspective and now I am looking into the homeopathic methods as well. I can’t afford to actually see a Homeopath but I have been reading tons about natural cures for pain and depression because unfortunately they come hand in hand with me.

What happened a month ago that change my sleeping habits and increased my pain to the level where I had to see my surgeon to make sure I am not re-damaging myself? (Which I could be, I am waiting for a CT scan.) I went back to work for a measly 12 hours a week broken up into three shifts. I have been  on workmen’s compensation for close to two years, actually the two year anniversary of my injury is in four days. At this point they are trying to force me off and while I understand that they have guidelines for how long it should take to heal from surgery, I am not better.

Perhaps I will write another post on my ridiculous struggles with workman’s comp. later today. I think I have calmed my mind enough to crawl back into bed. It is Sunday after all, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I am going to sleep in!


– S.

*I say ordinary because I have many problems that are rather unique and would not be experienced by many people, especially in my age group. I am not saying it doesn’t happen to others, I am saying it is rare and of my everyday problems insomnia is the most annoying. In no way am I trying to belittle the effect of insomnia on anyone, it’s freakin horrible!


3 thoughts on “Insomnia, My Companion If Not My Friend

  1. Caroline says:

    Have you tried hypnosis tapes. There’s a link on my blog.

    Not sleeping is the pits – I know.

  2. TitaniumBabe says:

    I agree. Sleep issues are really annoying and a few other bad words. The worse thing about it is how you just lay in bed thinking about how annoying it is. So you were right to try and distract yourself from it.

    I still have issues with my legs at night. But when it was at it’s worst, it was because I was still drinking caffeine. I don’t know why, but in my case, caffeine seems to acerbate nerve damage. I’ve been caffeine-free for over a decade now. Yeah, I still miss it, and no, I haven’t given up decaf coffee. I draw the line at that.
    I have cut way back on caffeine, going from several cups a day to a tea in the morning because I too noticed that the more caffeinated I got, the worse the nerve aches are. I have been seriously contemplating trying to cut out sugar from my diet, as I am still quite the sugar addict. It is terrifying to contemplate, so much of my energy comes from sugar but I am set on making myself as healthy as possible and sugar is something that doesn’t offer much good for all the bad it does.
    Do you have any thoughts on sugar?? Have you tried cutting it out before?
    xoxo – S.

  3. backonmyown says:

    I hope you soon get the 6-hour plan back. Six hours straight is so much more restful than 6 or more with frequent interruptions. Keep visualizing a good sleep. Can’t hurt and might help. I’m sending you good thoughts and lots of hugs. xx
    Hi Pat,
    Thanks for commenting. You are right, six solid hours is a heck of a lot different than six hours of broken up sleep. I know people who can function on six hours a night, but I tend more toward needing the full eight to feel refreshed. I can’t even tell you how long it has been since I got eight solid hours of sleep!! I think in part, my lethargy is just downright tiredness.
    I have started to send you good thoughts through creative visualization and affirmations as well.
    xoox -S.

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