There is something about writing anonymously that is incredibly liberating. I have been blogging for almost a year on another blog that I am not going to mention here, as that would blow my cover. But if you found your way here through an invitation, I feel I owe you an explanation as to why I am abandoning my previous effort to chronicle my story.
You see, I don’t see it as an abandonment. I will still update that other site as things progress, but I always felt slightly guilty deviating from the main goal of that blog. I truly believe my story may help others, so I want to leave it as a resource. One that I searched for an didn’t find.
This blog is all about me. It is my place to express what I want and say what I feel. Many of the people who know me knew about my other blog, so I couldn’t be totally open. With this blog I am no one in particular. Hopefully it will allow me to feel more comfortable writing about everything, and anything, that I want to discuss.
I am very confused as to where I want to be. I cannot make goals for myself because I have lost me. I don’t know what I want or where I want to go so how do I set goals? I read an article today that said instead of making goals, which is associated with external accountability, you can try to make promises. A promise brings your emotions in because no one wants to break promises, even to themselves. I am hesitant to do this as I take personal failure to heart and seem to get stuck in the things I can’t do without ever addressing the things I can do.
I have a couple of ideas of things to talk about on this blog, like I want to make a page for “Things I am Grateful For”, “Mantras to Keep me Centered” and “Creative Visualizations”. I am hoping that I can bring some positivity into my thinking by focusing on some of the things that are good in my life. That way when I get into an “everything sucks” mood I can look over my list and see what doesn’t suck.
These are my great plans. Check in again to see if I find the motivation to stick to my plan… I sincerely hope I can. Just a few short words a day is an accomplishment. That is my first mantra.
Writing a few words everyday is a huge accomplishment.