Question: What would your perfect day look like.
I have been struggling with this one. In fact, this is re-write number three. You see, ideally I could write this and assume I had no pain, but as I want this to be helpful I can’t discount the fact that I am in pain and unable to do many things. So I have decided to write on the perfect realistic day in relation to my physical pain and limitations. However, I have not taken into account the emotional and psychological side of my condition. Depression, lack of motivation, anxiety and lethargy are all side affects (there are more, but those are the most troublesome) I experience as a consequence of the injury itself, the surgery, the quality of life it has left me with, or the cocktail of medications I take to control the pain and mood disorders.
While I may not be able to control the pain or how fast I get better, (I can do everything I can to foster healing and growth, but I can’t physically make my spine grow!) I can change how I see my future and the outlook I have on dealing and living with pain.
I am woken up slowly around nine by the sunshine streaming in my window, a light breeze plays across my bare shoulders. Unlike most mornings where I am overcome by panic or brooding, this morning I awake feeling fresh, rested,and almost serene. As there is nothing pressing or time sensitive that needs to be done today I am allowed the luxury of getting out of bed slowly. I close my eyes again and allow my mind and attention to drift until I am ready to rise. I shake out my limbs and sit down cross legged on my block, shifting until I find that special spot, where all my joints are stacked, that is tolerable to maintain for short periods. I spend ten minutes breathing deeply while visualizing light and serenity entering my body with my breath and darkness leaving with every exhale. Eventually there is no more darkness to exhale and I can start visualizing forgiveness flowing out of me and into all those people who hurt me, angered I have not yet forgiven. Once I feel calm and ready to face the day I get up and spend a few minutes stretching. After I have stretched all the stiffness out of my body, or at least I have made myself as comfortable in my body as I can be, I step into my favourite fuzzy black slippers, slink into my robe and tie it tightly around my waist.
I saunter out to the kitchen to make myself a cup of Lady Grey tea. As I wait for my nifty automatic tea maker to heat the water and steep the tea I go to the washroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Now that I feel a little more fresh and awake I sit down to savour the aroma and flavour of my perfectly brewed tea. After leisurely consuming my morning tonic, while reading a couple of posts, I change into my workout clothes and go for an hour walk.
I don’t walk my usual route because I have become accustomed to the sights and sounds of my neighbourhood and want to be able to stay in the moment, focus on my current feelings and discover new experiences. I decide to walk for half an hour in no particular direction, I follow wherever my feet take me. At the half hour mark I turn around and walk a different route back. It was the perfect thing for me to to. Within five minutes of leaving my apartment I could already feel my spirits lifting. There is such beauty all around me, if I just take the time to look. I take in all the breathtaking and varying colors of flowers while their beautifully-pungent scent invades my senses. As I walk I count crab-apple trees as they are adorned with my favourite blooms. Every tree is beautiful and yet it seems like no two blooms are exactly alike, kinda like people. Upon my return I jump in the shower and by the time I am done I am ready for a light lunch. Today it is going to be a caesar salad with ripe, sweet little grape tomatoes and chicken breast. There is even parmesan cheese and croutons!
After enjoying my lunch I need to lay down on the couch to rest while taking in a tv show or movie. Eventually, I find the motivation to get up and decide to take care of some house work, be it sweeping, the dishwasher. wiping down the counters or any other task that needs to be done. To make cleaning pleasant I throw on some music. When my favourite song comes on I bust an awkward move and sing as loud as I can in my tuneless voice.
Once the kitchen is in order I leave for the store to get fresh ingredients for our dinner tonight. I pick up steak, corn on the cob and some potato salad. I am in luck as all the ingredients I pick up are on sale and I walk away from the grocery store feeling great instead of the usual feeling of deflation I get after I realize how much my groceries are going to cost me.
On the walk back home I take in the beauty of my neighbourhood. I stop to admire the freshly bloomed tulip and daffodils, admiring the inherent elegance in these long stemmed flowers. As I continue down the street I decided to take out my camera to catch a couple moments of this glorious day. The crab-apple trees in the church’s lawn across the street have started to bud so when I get home I decide to sit on the porch for a few minutes to admiring the scene in front of me.
There are fluffy white clouds in the sky with sunbeams shining through. The light makes patterns on the tree and grass that constantly change, as the clouds move and the light fades in and fades out. I can hear a bird singing somewhere close, but cannot spy his perch. Suddenly the little bird appears and I identify him as a chickadee as he hops around the grass looking for his next meal. There is a gentle breeze blowing making the buds sway, it is soft enough to be pleasant and cool enough to provide some much needed relief from the heat.
As I am watching the serene scene in front of me I take deep relaxing breathes and affirm “Everything is exactly as it should be.” and “You are exactly where you need to be in this moment.” I spend about ten minutes sitting there just enjoying the scene and taking it all in. When I am ready I get up and go inside.
While I was out getting groceries C. cleaned the rest of the kitchen and picked up the living room. He even put in some laundry (for both of us, not just him like he usually does) and he actually remembered to transfer it to the dryer and to use fabric softener.
After putting away the food for dinner, and opening the curtains to let the afternoon light in, I lay down on the couch again because I need to rest after groceries. I survey my knitting basket to see which work in progress tickles my fancy today. I pick up a baby blanket I am making for my best friends baby made from one of my favourite baby appropriate yarns, ‘Baby Clouds’. (The name says it all, it is so so soft!) I am half done and want to finish it before I see her in a couple of days. I spend about half an hour just enjoying the tranquility and the steady click of my needles.
C. and I make dinner together around six. Before sitting down, I light some candles and put on soft music. When we sit down to eat I am ravenously hungry and over light conversation I devour my salad. I start to clean up and when I turn around, C. is holding a cheesecake he picked up to surprise me. I melt as I give him a kiss while he cuts the cake. After the titillating experience of the silky smooth cheesecake we go for a stroll.
C. and I walk for an hour or so, going down to the canal and watching the newly hatched ducklings swim behind their momma. We remembered to bring some bread and delightedly feed the ducks. Eventually we go home and I am about ready for bed.
Bed is fun, but this is where my day ends. Haha, yes, this is a cop out to avoid talking about my sex life.
I hope you enjoyed my serene and clam day. I know it is not all that exciting but that is what I am trying to show myself – I need to be content in the present. I want to love even the trivialities in my day, to appreciate that I made a perfect cup of tea and got to enjoy the sunshine. It is the little things I will find contentedness in.
What makes your day good? What are your little things that make you smile?