Today I sat down after work to check my email and realized that I had thirteen new blog posts to read from my ever growing list of blogs I like. This surprised me because even though I do follow too many a few rarely do I have more than three or four posts in a day to read. I feel I should say that while I do get a ton out of writing for myself, another aspect that delights and inspires me is all of you. In your comments, your posts and your amazingly crafted words each and every one of you have carved your place close to my heart.
No, I am not just blathering on about how much I appreciate you all, there is a point here…
What caught me today, beyond the sheer number of new posts, was how the topics of change, self compassion and self love seemed to come up again and again in post after post. I’ll show you what I mean….
The first post I read today was written by one of my all time favorite bloggers. In fact she is the very first person I followed when I started my other blog a year ago. Ruth is an inspiring writer with a unique and intelligent take on things I didn’t know interested me. Her post today, aptly entitled Celebrating My Work, is about completing a short work of fiction for an NPR contest. Her post caught me because she expresses compassion for herself in such an endearing way that it made me realize that having compassion and love for yourself isn’t about coddling or pulling the proverbial fleece over your eyes. Rather it is accepting the things you can’t change while constantly changing the things you can for the better. In roolily’s case she allowed herself the pleasure of drinking her coffee out of her special purple cup to reward herself for following through on a task she has been wanting to do. In turn, because she was compassionate with herself and recognized her attainment of a goal she had been chasing, she was able to continue working with renewed gusto.
That was my first lesson in self-compassion today…
Then I swung by Jeni’s to catch up. She is a stitch-in-your-side-from-laughing type of blogger and through my tiny window into her life she inspires me and gives me hope. She is so full of life, strong and multi talented and I sincerely admire her determination, motivation and wherewithal to make the most out of life. I want to be more like her. Anyway, in the über funny post He Didn’t Eat the Cupcake she has been spending time with a guy that she knew would never be a relationship, but was still greatly fulfilling sex and began to recognize that she could, and might be, falling in love with him. So, just like that, she decides she will give him up and I see her following through. She is showing me that you are the change in your own life. Her ability to follow through on her words astounds me.
Another post of Jenni’s that got me thinking today was Confession #8042, which turned out to be that she likes hearing the word no. Meaning that the man she settles with will have to be able to hold his own and say no when it is the best thing for him or her. (I know I am paraphrasing, and probably hacking it to bits, so please go read her much more well thought out post for a much better explanation!) Further, the person has to challenge her. He has to make her work for him in the same way she wants to be worked for.
Like her, I am usually only interested in the things I have had to work for in the romance department. Letting me know that I could have you anytime is a sure way to get me to use you and definitely not want a relationship. However, I can’t work at it all the time. I mean at some point there has to be some ease without boredom. She says she always choses douchebags, but I think that everyone has just a bit of douche in them. At the end of the post she lists some criteria for musts in the man department and one resonated with me as it is something I have dealt with a lack of in both of my long term, significant relationships: I like to be admired, desired and wanted. I need to feel like my guy loves me all the time and that my body turns him on. I like having sex, and I feel like it is a big part of a relationship.
I was so happy to read that she felt the same because I was beginning to wonder if wanting to have good sex more than twice a week made me a deviant sexually. My current bf has made me feel like there is something wrong with wanting to make love daily and has given up trying satisfying me because he says I am insatiable. I already know I can’t deal with that for much longer but right now it seems like my self-esteem is low enough to be okay with no sex so… I am just letting everything slide right now. Yet another thing I should but don’t act on. Jeni makes me see what it means to have and know your own values and to live in harmony with them. She makes me want to be able to say what I want with conviction.
Another blogger who I have admired for a while is Skeltoes. She is an inspiring single mom who does her best for her daughter, always fights for what she deserves and makes no apologies for who she is. She has recently started a new relationship and has decided to combine their two little families into her house. Her post Change Change Change is all about this transitional period how there is so much to do and that she is apprehensive but excited. Reading it made me so happy for her, she is one that definitely deserves some things to go her way, but it also made me nostalgic for that feeling. Excited apprehensiveness. It has been a really long time since my apprehension was of the positive variety rather than the soul-crushing negative anxiety that has been my companion for much too long. Mind you, she has worked awfully hard to be able to have this excited apprehension.
Skeletoes has the ability to set a goal and charge after it until it is hers. I really admire her ability to not only think in relation to future goals but to execute her plan with relative ease. She knows what she wants, where and when to get it and how to get there. She knows herself and it is inspiring.
The only person who I have met that knows herself better and is just as honest with herself as Skeltoes is Caroline. She is an amazing woman who reluctantly went through a divorce but came out knowing herself so much better, and is so happy with herself! She is training to become a life coach and I think she will be amazing at it. (Yes, I have already offered to let her try her hand on me! But I think I might be too big of a task for a first go! LOL ) Her post today is all about her The Voyage to the Center of Me and, as usual, has gotten me thinking about how I just don’t do enough work on myself to get to where I want to be. She is incredibly wise and I feel like she can see through my mediocre efforts. I am somewhat embarrassed to say that I can hear her in my head, even though we have never talked, telling me that I just have to take a step, any step. It doesn’t matter if it is in the right direction or not, you can always take a step back, the important thing is moving.
Whoa! This has become a ridiculously long post, so I am going to wrap it up and leave quick notes on the last couple of posts… All of you made me think so much today that I just had to show people my inspirations….
Shelley from MyShoeboxLife is partaking in a 12 week to a new you program and I am enthralled with how much she is learning and changing. Another amazing lady I could learn quite a few things from. The image on the left is actually from her post, it really spoke to me.
PercariousGait’s post was absolutely touching and I took these couple of lines right from her blog. The sentiment really resonates with me. “There’s no use looking back and pining for what might have been. Not when I could use that energy to manifest dreams that are possible on the road in front of me.”
That’s it! All the lessons I learned today from all my various favorite people. I hope you enjoyed my syndication of these inspiring ladies words today. I certainly learned a lot!! Now if I can just apply it and keep it all with me, this knowledge will serve me well!
Hugs to all of you special people!
xo – S.
***All of the opinions expressed are mine. Everything said above is based on my interpretation of the various posts mentioned. Please forgive me if I have misinterpreted your words. Additionally, feel free to let me know if you don’t want me linking to or mentioning your blog. ***
- The death of relationships (misslaughingsunshine.wordpress.com)